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Archive for August, 2008

Sexcuses

Saturday, August 23rd, 2008

Exsqueeze me but who was it that decided that making a stupid name that has no reference to anything in your movie and only shows that you can make the most simple of sexual connotations by playing with a word a good idea in movie making ?  Well hellooooo sunshine a lame name makes for a lame start to your movie and then it makes it hard to get the audience back…I mean ok if any of these guys had done something wrong and they were using sex as a way to apologize then sure it makes sense and can end up hot especially if they are really desperate to show just how sorry they are and willing to make sexcuses instead of excuses (see…now I can use it in a witty way even if they cant).  Fortunately the movie does make it’s own mark and helped me make mine as well because the guys in it are just so damn hot and slutty that my cock rose like a thermometer as the scenes got hotter and hotter.

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These mediterranean yummy tanned hunks in Sexcuses are no strangers to cock and casual as can be even in public as they go down on each other and fuck themselves senseless even to start off, then one of the most scrumptious twinkies that I have seen in porn fucks himself so he has a rock hard erection that just calls out to you and I guess also called out to his friend that comes to help him help both of them to a mutual fuckfest that gets them both off in an explosive orgasm.  From here to an intense threesome and wrapping up with a session between two guys who must have done each other many times before because it was obvious that they each knew what the other one wanted and craved and had some of the most intense fucking Ive seen.  So regardless of the dumb name with this kind of hot sperm inducing action I have no sexcuse not to give Sexcuses a swishing spermy salute of suxxxess.

Mandingo Men

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

Everybody knows chocolate is an aphrodisiac and that is certainly true watching these cads bury it deep in four chocolate fudge packing scenes. There is enough cream being added to coffee in this movie that it may as well have been called StarFucks and adds a little light BDSM for some extra flavor. I have never seen anyone more anxious to be put in chains. I see now why a lot of white masters use to love keeping their hot sweaty black slaves in chains to better display their rippling muscles.

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The cocks were big and juicy, the fucking was intense and action-filled, but I know when my fantasies go to some black stallions it’s always a sports team or rap band all getting together to bust some moves on my ass and all over my face leaving me covered in delicious white chocolate sauce…

Mandingo Men is severely lacking in cast cos everyone knows black fuck-machines are all about sex but this was all just one-on-one action that only teased you with what these black brutes should be capable of, so next time bring on some more beef…maybe a nice big white pork sausage to own their asses; they do say history repeats itself, nothing wrong with it repeating itself repeatedly in some sweet chocolate fudge packed wide-spread ass meat.

So while I did enjoy Mandingo Men as a yummy chocolate snack which certainly gave me some custard of my own to clean up, I must say it was only a mediocre man-fest and gets two swishes and half a schwing to the left.

Brazen Brazilians

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

How does that Duran Duran song go ?  ‘His name is Rio and he’s a slutty man’ ?  Well it should…everything I always see and here about Rio all tells me it’s a place that even Uncle Fester from the Addams Family could get laid at…and all those tanned studly brazilian boys with nothing better to do than lay in the sun and have sex all day…yummy; Yet another movie to further tell me that no matter where in Brazil I may go and no matter what I may be doing sex is to be found everywhere in this cum-crazy country.

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There are a few scenes here that make Brazen Brazilians stand out a bit from so much of the more generic gay porn out there…that is stand out even more than the inter-racial hunky beefcake action that dominates every scene.  One of my favorite things is sex in the water…whether it’s Ocean, lake, pool or hot tub..that extra buoyancy making a cock bounce and float in the water combined with the light refracting adding even more size to see…mmmm scrumptious.  25-30 minutes into this movie thats what I got treated to..full on underwater blowjobs and body against body action followed by hot wet sex after they get out of the water.  Also of note is a sizzling threesome to wrap a movie that you will have already probably cum watching but hot enough to get you up and ready to go again.  Brazen Brazilians was a real treat and makes me want to get down there for some of this fun but until I can I guess I will go get myself some brazilian bananas and nuts to enjoy.  A bouquet of streaming swishes of semen headed south for Brazen Brazilians.

Gay Cowboys Share One Guy

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

Gay Cowboys Share One Slender Guy

This poor cowboy was just walking home after a long days of work when Black Mustang and Billy The Kid cornered him out in a field. This unfortunate victim didn’t have anywhere to run and was forced to give him what they wanted. But these two gay cowboys didn’t want his money. They wanted his ass! Take a look at these images and watch as Mustang and Billy make sure this boy enjoys every second of this wild west robbery.

Their victim said that he had never done anything like this before, but these pics tell a different story. It wasn’t long before this cowboy was giving both of the robbers blowjobs. He definitely knew a thing or two about sucking fuck tool. I’m guessing that during those long, lonely nights out on the range, he didn’t hesitate to use his mouth on his cowboy companions. But this robbery didn’t end with a oral pleasure. Both Mustang and Billy took turns fucking this guy’s tight ass! When it was all over, he almost didn’t want them to leave!

Forget Broke Back Mountain. Click here to see all of the gay cowboy action!

Foreskin Follies

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

A movie that is both aptly and inaptly titles.  Yes, making this movie was a folly…But the title itself is done by someone who spent more of his English Composition class watching his teacher do his teaching instead of learning from the teaching.  I see the title and I think…ohhh something to make me laugh and get off with at the same time…maybe a porn blooper movie or something silly like that after all the definition of folly is 1. the state or quality of being foolish; lack of understanding or sense.  2. a foolish action, practice, idea, etc.; absurdity…well like I said at the beginning the only folly here is in making this to begin with…and thats not funny folly..it’s sad folly.  The only thing remotely funny was watching some of these rhythmless guys trying to dance and be sexy…and yknow since I watch porn in order to get off at least being sexy would have been ok…but nooooo like an amateur drama group it was just lame lame lame.

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Now I ask myself…isn’t there anything positive that I can say about Foreskin Follies…I mean seriously I watch all these guys in this movie sucking and fucking…surely I can say something good about it can’t I ?  No…I can’t.  The picture sucks, the sound sucks, the cock sizes suck.  Honey even the sucking sucks in this one.  You would even assume from the first part of the name that it is centered on the idea of uncut cock with a juicy pre-cum loaded foreskin wrapped around the head.  But nooooo it’s based on people who can’t dance but think that they can pretending that they can strip and somehow turning others on enough that sex happens.  Don’t waste your time on this one when there are so many hot guaranteed splooge shooters out there that I’ve reviewed and reccomended already.  Not even a limp twitch of a salute for Foreskin Follies.

35 and up 5

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

They say that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks…while this may or may not be true, this movie; 35 And Up 5 shows that an old dog can certainly teach a younger pup a thing or two.  While there is a whole lot to be said for young lean twinks and muscley beefcakes (that whole lot can be simplified in one word….YUM) there is an often overlooked heat factor in those generally straight vanilla 35-45 year old suburban Dad look and this movie exploits that mature X factor all the way showing us that the next time we have some blah looking volvo driving 40 year old yuppy hitting on us instead of making an excuse and getting away we should give them a test drive and see if they have any tricks that we can pick up from them.

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Scene to scene I really don’t know who is getting the better deal, the older guys getting some twink energy and creamy loads or the young guys getting well serviced and fucked by the more mature men.  I see soooo many blowjobs honey (real life and in movies and pictures) and 35 And Up 5 has one of the best I’ve ever seen…this studly do-right looking 40ish year old guy (kinda looks like that sexy Nick Stokes from CSI) delivers one of the hottest blowjobs I’ve ever seen.  It’s like he grafts himself body and soul to the cock and savors every moment.  A scene guaranteed to make you cum hard picturing his mouth on you.Not only do you get an age and maturity mix in this movie but it also delivers some inter-racial heat as young and old and black and white meet in each scene for the hottest sex that they can conjure up between themselves.  Six Suburban Swishes of Semen for 35 And Up 5.

House of Javier

Monday, August 18th, 2008

House of Javier is a well rounded movie that shows all the best parts of manly interracial love but doesn’t limit itself to the typical black and white generalities of such movies and unlike most hispanic movies doesn’t just have a bunch of mexicans playing poke the pinata.  Javier is a spicy enchilada of a Latino twinkie….a Hostess Burrito as opposed to a Hostess twinkie if you will and House of Javier is a house of fun that anyone would love to spend some time in…sex in every room with well hung guys waiting to play around every corner.

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Javier shows us that he is one of the world’s best hosts and is obviously very flexible…both physically and in his preference of meat to devour although like any of us he seems to find the dark meat a bit juicier as he gobbles down and fills as well as getting filled by these chocolate stud-muffins.  It would have been nice to have seen all of these guys get together in one room for a gigantic technicolor orgy/gangbang in the final scene but since I did get to cum a few times watching it I’m not complaining…it’s just constructive criticism for when they hopefully make House of Javier 2.  A house coating set of swishes of creamy white paint from my throbbing paintbrush for House of Javier.

Full Body Contact

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

Wooooo Hooooo baby !! The other international rainbow logo is flying high in the sky this week as young lean muscled athletes who are the most prime physical specimens of perfection that their countries can find are straining and stretching to break free of their limitations and show that they are the best of the best (that phrase always reminds me of cute little Will Smith in Men in Black…mmm come ravish me Will just dont erase the memory of it with your little flashy thing) so in keeping with the Olympics we will be looking at some sports movies and what goes on behind the scenes when men get to do what comes naturally with other men after sharing triumph and tragedy on a field while enjoying such things as full body presses and body checks.  The best part of any contest of physical skill between teams though always comes after the sport you see on your tv and usually takes place in the locker room as you can see in Full Body Contact.

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Obviously the football team knows what men like to do after a hot sweaty game because their locker room is all prepared with a glory hole set in the wall of the bathroom perfect for some relaxing downtime after the hard playing on the field (this is a team that thinks ahead to get some head) This hot locker sex-time theme contunies through the movie with some of the hunkiest beefcakes in gay porn and after some the football and some soccer we get to see why pitchers and catchers on a baseball team have that special bond between them and we also get to realize that maybe some of those pointing a finger at the crotch signals that they share aren’t necessarily related to the baseball game.  The outdoor dugout scene is as hot as the sun that they suck and fuck under as they develop their skills so they are a duo that is sure to score big.  Seven Olympic swishes of sexual sporty energy for Full Body Contact.

Tranny Taking A Steamy Bath

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

Shemale Taking A Bath

I’ll admit it! When I was first looking at these photos, I thought no way was she a tranny. She looked like a smoking gorgeous, all natural Latina mami. However, it’s when the soap cleared and I got a glimpse of her dong, that I knew that she, was definitely a he. However, I found myself more and more turned on as I checked out her photos. By the end of her photo set, all I wanted to do was jump into the bubble bath with her!

It’s not hard to see why some people would think that this shemale is actually a real female. She has a nice-looking body from head to toe. She has a soft and very feminine looking face. She has that kind of look that says I’m a good angel, but I definitely know how to get naughty. And her zeppelins look completely natural. They’re perfectly shaped and I’d love to fondle them. However, it’s that penis that gives her away. Her rod is fully functioning and she shows it off to us as she strokes herself.

See more of this nice-looking tranny and all of her friends at VIP Transsexual.

Doin My Best Friends Father

Saturday, August 16th, 2008

Who’s your Daddy ?  Why honey he’s the studly guy that got to experience my mouth on his cock as he skullfucked me then rammed it in my ass for a good hard fucking…thats who your Daddy is.  God wouldn’t it be just sooo funny to say that to one of your friends especially if it was true ?  Well that’s what Doin My Best Friend’s Father is all about…promoting healthy mutually beneficial relationships between friends and the father’s of these friends.  Definitely a helpful asset on those family hunting or fishing trips with your friend and his father to make sure that even if it rains on you then you can still have a good time.

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Just like some straight guys seem to like the older more experienced woman for their good times a lot of gay guys like the same thing…just not with women; give us an experienced large cock with a guy that knows how to use it and let the good times roll.  Doin My Best Friend’s Father shows us that you never know when you may get a chance for some cum fun, never underestimate where it will come from, and if your buddy has a good mouth and a good cock the odds are that his dad will also and those years of sucking cock that some 40 year old Daddy has might beat the skills of some 20 year old twink.  This movie really makes you appreciate the older guys for what they are and if you enjoy it then make sure you keep an open mind to having fun with some of those older guys next time you hit a bath-house.  According to movies like Doin My Best Friend’s Father they just might surprise you.  Seven fatherly swishes of sperm right now your throat is my rating for this hot mixing that shows that old or young a strong libido goes a long long ways

Balls Of the Wild

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

Do you know what the very bestest of all sounds out there is (next to of course the musical melody of an ice cream truck on a hot summer day bringing you something yummy to suck on)?  The one sound that makes you soooo hard even if its a room or two away ?  That’s right; the sound of two or more men together, and the meaty slapping of balls on ass while one buries his cock deep deep deep in the other guy’s lucky ass mixed with the moaning, grunting and deep throated voices saying “fuck yeah” over and over as they enjoy a non-stop sweaty sex session. (excuse me honey all those adjectives make me need to readjust the way I’m sitting…ahhh ok) Everything in this movie is set to add intensity.  The sound either had the microphone volume super high or the lucky studs were just being very vocal in their enthusiasm but I bet it was the mic cos honey you could hear every wet squelching thrust as these guys slammed their cocks in.  THXXX filming techniques for Balls Of The Wild I guess.

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Balls Of The Wild is set in Canada and shows us why those Canadian guys are called hosers.  They have some hoses that any fire department would be proud to call their own and Fort Lauderdale be damned…if you want to get really wild with your buddies Canada is the place to go as these studs discover.  Even though most of the movie is outdoors the sound doesn’t suffer and I bet if I was on an African Safari I wouldn’t get to experience more animalistic energy and sounds of the wild than I did watching Balls Of The Wild….if I were insanely rich like I wish I was I would make this the world’s first gay Imax movie.  A bouguet of Bare Back Bacon and Maple Leaf Manliness for Balls Of The Wild.

Boner Sucking Cross Dresser

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

Studs Fun

This dude had no idea what he was getting into when he knocked on this door last night. He was answering an ad in the local newspaper and after talking to the kitten, he decided to head over. She sounded a little weird on the phone and in person her and her gal friend looked a little weird, but he was fuck addicted and couldn’t think straight at all. Check out these images from this late night rendez vous involving one very fuck starved boy and what he thought were two dick loving angels.

It wasn’t long before he was making out with one of the angels and the other was on her knees, sucking his rock hard knob. He couldn’t believe how good of head she gave. But it was about to get even more interesting. He was about to get the shock of his life. He slid his hand up the skirt of the angel he was making out with. Instead of a soaked pussy, he found a hard fuck tool. He was shocked, but strangely turned on. He soon found out that the beauty who was giving him a blowjob was also a dude. He couldn’t believe it, but he didn’t tell them to stop either.

See more at the Dudes Fun website.

Hot Young Studs Get Nasty In Private

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Two young studs, one athletic brunette dude and a cute redhead twink, enjoy stroking each other off in this fun gay handjob video. The brown haired dude lies back and relaxes while the young redhead takes his dribbling cock in his mouth and starts to suck. Despite his youth, this young guy has a great pair of cocksucking lips and it’s not long before his man is about to blow in his mouth. The other guy pushes the carrot top away, taking the redhead’s dick in his own mouth and starting to fellate him. He really shows how it is done, enveloping the redhead’s whole shaft in his slick throat and sucking it right down to the base.

Ball ball cream Swapping Gay Lovers

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Cum Swapping Boyfriends

Take a look at these hot, gay pics from Real Goo Swap. These two men just met at the local gay club but they’re definitely hitting it off. When they got tired of the crowds and having to yell over the loud music to talk, they headed back to one of their apartments for a little more privacy. That’s where things got very charming very quickly. Neither of these boys were shy at all.

They didn’t waste anytime getting to know each other. Instead, it’s not long before they’re naked and one chap has a rock hard dick deep inside of his mouth. The action starts and ends with blowjobs. In between, there’s one very hardcore anal fucking scene. But the hottest part comes at the end when after taking a load of jizz in his mouth, he shares it was his new gay lover.

See it all at the Real Ball cream Swap.

Hawaiian Vacation

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Honey I have got three words for you…A LO HA!!  I haven’t seen anything on screen that made me want to go to Hawaii this much since watching hunky Tom Selleck as Magnum P.I. back when he had that sexy moustache instead of that shaved straight look he has nowadays…Oh My God and of course Jack Lord from Hawaii-5-0 whenever I watch that show I always wished my name could be Dan so I could hear him say “Book em Danno”.  The directors probably could have picked days that emphasized that hot Hawaiian sun a little more but regardless, the hot sweaty muscley action in this movie is enough to make anybody want to fly the friendly skies for a Hawaiian Vacation.


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While the sex in this movie does lack for anything more than one on one encounters, it still has a bit of something for everyone.  There’s some interracial Islander action, aquatic play-with-our-poles time, and a rainforest scene that certainly gave me a downpour while watching it and made my room as steamy and humid as any rainforest in the world.  Hawaiian penetration in the ass-pounding scenes were deeper than any Magnum P.I. plot (tho I sure wish they’d had that chocolate giant from Magnum named T.C. in this Hawaiian adventure) and the hotel this was filmed in should be on all gay tour magazines because obviously with the noisiness and openness of the sex action it must be a gay friendly hotel.   Seven excited swishes of sperm across the Pacific for Hawaiian Vacation.

Things You Can Do In Leather

Monday, August 11th, 2008

You know there is something just scrumpdillyicious about leather and muscle and sweat mixing together and sure we can do all the Things You Can Do In Leather not in leather but the makers of this movie know that sometimes that extra intoxicating smell of leather and sweat in the air adds just that extra zing to the scene.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about then go find the nearest bath-house to you or play-dungeon and get into some action with some of the leatherboys there and you will know what I mean and then probably get sized up for a pair of chaps.

Leather-men like most of the ones in Things You Can Do In Leather are also of that whole muscular macho build that if it weren’t for their obvious love of cock (and of course their leather wear) you would almost swear that they were straight.  The cocks are large and thick in this movie and the pounding whether its oral or anal is outtasight and I mean outtasight cos it gets slammed deep and to make things even hotter these guys love cum and there is something just so sizzling to my loins watching a man enjoying another man’s juices.  Things You Can Do In Leather is a must see and has my cock saluting and my chaps cum covered.

Drunk Gay Fellows Giving Blowjobs

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

Drunk Gay Boys Giving Blowjobs

The local gay club closed for the night, but these guys weren’t ready for the party to end. In fact, if you ask me the real party is just starting. Back in the privacy of an apartment, they can do whatever they want to do and that’s exactly what happens. They’re all over each other, getting very friendly as their hands explore each other and discover hard and growing dicks. Take a look at these x-rated photos that caught all of the oral action

One of the drunkest boys made it known that he wanted to suck fuck tool and soon he had three dicks to work with his mouth. They all gorgeous much took turns giving and getting head. It was a wild, tangled mess of meaty ramrods and mouths. I’ve seen a lot of marvelous gay action, but this might be one of my favorite scenes that I’ve seen so far. I definitely wouldn’t mind at all being in the middle of that tangled mess!

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Rickys Revenge

Saturday, August 9th, 2008

Oh Ricky you’re so fine…you’re so fine you blow my mind…hey Ricky!  Little Ricky in Ricky’s Revenge is quite the mindblowing and loadblowing little chocolate studsicle.  I’m not quite sure why they call it Ricky’s Revenge unless it’s just to be alliterate but even then they could have picked more accurate R words cos honey if this is what Ricky calls revenge I want to meet him and do something dastardly so that he wants to get revenge on me.  I guess this is what people mean when that say, “revenge sweet revenge.”

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Ricky’s Revenge lacks anything really special or extreme to set itself apart from so many other movies but the sex is still sizzling hot and for such a little guy Ricky has certainly got a very large and lovely looking cock that everybody seems to enjoy and I certainly wouldn’t kick him out of my bed.  Whether it’s white boys he’s playing with and getting his cock sucked and ass fucked by or Hispanic hombres servicing him and his wonderstick he is certainly a couple cups of hot chocolate and his cock turns into an ebony fountain when he cums.  If you want some deep and simple porn for a quick splooge session then Ricky’s Revenge is a movie that wont disappoint and will certainly put some swish in your swosh.

Sucker

Friday, August 8th, 2008

Sucker is a movie that suckered me into wasting too much of my time and I feel very cheated by it. This movie could have just been edited down to one scene and been an awesome short movie but noooooo they had to be pretentious little hollywoodies and say “oh we need more scenes to have a movie and let’s put the only good one at the end.”  That’s right…when or if you ever end up watching Sucker; do not be a sucker and watch the whole thing…just skip to the last scene and enjoy a hot threesome with some well hung Studly Do-right beefcake hunks, shoot a load and just pretend there is no other part to the movie.

The first part of Sucker is filled with some of the nerdiest guys I have ever seen.  The only upside is that if you like those straight looking guys and seeing them being gay these guys match that description.  Oh and the one guy in the second scene has this nice mushroom headed cock that glistens with eruptions of pre-cum like old faithful.  When you get to the end scene though the action cuts loose with some guys who have obviously worked and played together before because you can tell that these guys know what each other likes and boy do they ever deliver.  Unfortunately one scene does not get you a good rating guys and the best I can do is say erase the first part and get a swishy spermy good rating as a short movie.

Tom Katt

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

In the straight world they have always had so many porn stars male and female…many of these names famous enough to be known in vanilla households that don’t even watch porn.  Our gay movie actors on the other hand have rarely achieved such well known stardom.  Even supersplooger Peter North didnt actually become a big name until he made the switchover to the straight side (you’re a gender traitor peter peter pussy eater)…the only ones that come to mind are Jeff Stryker, Jeff Palmer, and of course Tom Katt.

This movie of movies within movies pays excellent tribute to a man who revolutionized our gay movie industry as well as giving many of our gay brothers the courage and pride to come out of the closet and show that even buff muscle men can be gay.  This movie has something for all of us who love beefcake and meatloaf (especially with gravy).  From one of the hottest shower scenes I have ever seen to some of the most sensual yet intense and driven sex with all holes open and receiving, and finishing off with Tom enjoying the scents and sensations of leather as well as making the most of some erotic lighting to highlight his erotic adventures in a decadent dungeon of debauchery.  This is a wonderful movie that everyone can enjoy, and I think we should make more tribute movies to more of our lasting stars so that their names can be better known to everyone.  Seven swishes of spermy appreciation to Tom Katt.


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